One Year

I have a one year old. Really. One. You’re one! This is crazy.

I think you’re the most amazing one year old EVER. You are so confident in your walking now. You just tear around our little apartment like time will stop if you cease moving. I assure you that it won’t, but you never seem to believe me.

You’ve matured a lot this last month. You truly look like a little kid and not a baby anymore. I’m pouting right now. It’s so amazing to see you grow, but it’s so hard at the same time. You’re my baby. My little tiny baby and it’s so strange to see you so big.

You said Dada this month and your daddy was so happy. He cried. Now you’ve added CAT to your vocabulary and you chant it as a whisper as you stare at the cat. catcatcatcat, you whisper.

We took a trip this last month to the Oregon coast. Your great-grandparents own a condo there and we had an amazing time. You loved the sand and the fish at the aquarium. The sand especially. You spent a long time seated in one spot just scooping and relocating sand. That was one of your mom’s favorite places to go as a kid and I hope that it’s around for a long time so that you can grow up with it, too.

You learned where your nose is and you’ll happily point it out to us if we ask. Then you start clapping for yourself because you know just how smart you are. You high-five. You blink on command if you see someone else do it first. You’re so smart. So very very smart.

Now I just need you to say mama. Then I’ll cry.

I love you, my girl. I’m so proud to be your mama.

Love,
mama

Month Eleven

Dearest daughter,

I’ll bet you thought I was going to forget month eleven. Well neener neener, I fit it in right before you turn a year old (SOB). Yes, your mother is crying that you aren’t going to be her little baby anymore.

You are such a big girl. Your newest favorite thing has been walking (trying to run, really) all over our apartment while wrinkling your nose, squinting your eyes and squealing this high-pitched girly little scream. It’s adorable. And also very loud. But mainly adorable and it makes me laugh.

Your hair is doing the sweetest little curling thing right now. I’m beginning to think that you’re going to be my curly-haired little girl. You get these little wings that flip out from the sides of your head when it gets warm and boy did it get warm this last month.

One major major thing that’s happened this month is that Mom had to go back to work. I know, I had to leave you during the day and have been leaving you for the daytime for a little while now. You get to play with Grandma all day. Grandma loves having you over there. She gets bummed out on days when Mommy is playing hooky or Daddy has the day off so you stay at home. You are so loved, kidlet. So very very loved.

This letter is going to be short because I’m blurring eleven and twelve months and boy am I going to have a lot to say here in a few days when you turn (gasp) a year old. A year old! I can hardly believe it.

I love you so much. You’ll ALWAYS be my baby.

Love,
Momma

Month Ten

Dearest baby,

Oh my word, we’re into double digits on the months. Can you believe it? I’m already tweaking out a little bit about you turning one in just two short months. ONE! It seems like you’ve been a part of my life for forever and yet I’m astonished that you’re ten months old.

We’ve hit a few big milestones this month, too! You, my love, took your first steps on May 25th. You’ve taken a few consecutive steps since then, but I can’t quite say that you’re walking. You’re pretty stubborn and you like that you can cruise along at 30mph on your hands and knees. In fact, lately, you’ve taken to crawling at top-speed while pushing something along the floor in front of you, be it your wipes or a book or really anything that slides easily.

Just this past Thursday, on June 4th, we discovered something amazing and sharp. You got your first tooth. The very next day you got your second tooth. You don’t seem to be so impressed just yet and you absolutely do not want us to see those teeth of yours, but we think it’s pretty darn cool. It just means more foods of a bigger variety, my dear. You’ll appreciate those teeth pretty soon, I assure you.

Also this month, just about a week ago, you figured out how to open cupboards. Your mommy and daddy are just now putting their apartment up for sale so we can get a place where you have your own room and now we have to lock up the cupboards because you keep trying to get into the garbage! You couldn’t have waited just a smidge longer for that particular discovery? Next is drawers and then we’re really in trouble.

The cutest thing that you’re doing these days are your Eskimo kisses. You haven’t quite figured out that it’s nose-to-nose so instead you just whip your head from side to side while pressing your forehead against mine. It’s adorable, even if you’ve come very close to breaking my nose with your head on more than one occasion.

I love you, my girl. These last ten months have been remarkable and there’s only more to come. Please stop growing so fast. I feel like I’m missing things!

I love you I love you I love you I love you.

-Mama

Month Nine

Baby girl,

Nine months old! And an on time letter! Amazing! I can’t believe that it’s been nine months already. Nine months ago at this time I was laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed watching you sleep in the bassinet beside me. Now you’re sleeping in your playpen and you still look just as angelic to me as you did on that first day. You’re just a lot larger.

I’ve been going through a lot of pictures lately and it’s incredible. I don’t notice day-to-day how much you change, but when I see those pictures from nine months, eight months, seven months ago, you really have matured in astounding ways.

I’ve been really surprised this month with how content you are to just crawl or to walk along furniture. With the hurry that you were in to get mobile, I was so sure that you’d be walking by now. I still think it will be very soon, but you really do seem perfectly okay to just make your way around the room using the couch, your toy baskets, your highchair… you just don’t quite seem ready to let go and take off on your own even though I’m confident that you can do it.

This last month had you taking your very first real vacation and it was, uh, interesting. We traveled to Mexico for Auntie Steph and Uncle Mikey’s wedding. You were so great on the flights, but something made you really sick and you spent most of the week vomiting or filling yucky diapers. We couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on. We thought maybe you’d been affected by the water, then we thought it was the heat, then we thought you might be allergic to something in the environment. We got you home and you were just fine, but it certainly made for a week filled of panic and uncertainty. We debated missing the wedding and coming home early just to get you to a doctor! It didn’t help that the world was in a panic over the swine flu – a new illness that was originating in Mexico. We got through it, though, and we still came out with some mighty cute pictures of you in the tropical climate.

Other than that, things have been strangely quiet with you this month. The last few days you’ve really started to test your boundaries though and let me tell you, you’re driving me batty. You’re trying to pull my books off the shelves (and then you put them in your mouth). You’re pulling DVD’s off the entertainment unit and you’re playing with power cords at every opportunity. Trouble, my dear, trouble is what you’ve been! You’re also trying to see if screaming obscenely loud when something is taken away from you will get that item back. I’ll tell you right now, as I do when I take things away, that no. It won’t work. Keep screaming, darling, I’ll still take no-no things away each and every time.

Food is starting to get fun with you. I’m working on trying to give you a little bit of whatever it is I’m eating just to get you accustomed to some new tastes. Some of the new baby foods that we’ve been trying are ones that leave you completely unimpressed. It’s pretty funny, though. You open your mouth wide for the first few bites and then you seem to realize that it isn’t going to turn into anything better and you cry every time the spoon approaches. Usually, if we try the same food a week or so later, you do just fine with it. The new tastes must just be a little too much for you. You certainly love your snacks, though. Wowsers. You chow down on your puffs and your yogurt bites. You also like to take your “cookies” and shove the entire thing in your mouth so you can barely mash it down. We try and tell you that it’s okay to take it slow, but you just look at us and shove another handful of your current snack into your mouth.

Your dad and I are so in love with you. You constantly make us smile and even when you’re being a pain in the butt, we find ourselves laughing at the faces that you make. Hell, even your screams are cute when they’re for such ridiculous reasons.

I love you so very very much. I can’t even remember what life was like before you and, quite frankly, I don’t want to remember. I wouldn’t want my life any other way if it meant I had to do it without my daughter. I love you.

-Your Mama

Month Eight

Baby Girl,

I love you so very very much. You are still progressing and maturing at such a rapid pace that it blows me away. Now you no longer need furniture to stand up – you just let go and balance. At first it was only for a few seconds and then you’d desperately windmill and grab for whatever piece of furniture you’d just abandoned. Now, however, you can stand indefinitely. As long as nobody bumps you. It’s just a matter of time before you’re walking.

You still love to blow raspberries and will just truck it around the apartment making farting noises all the while. It cracks your father and I up. We love to watch you. You like to watch us, too. Especially when we put away your toys and books. Then you promptly get up and go empty the toy box because really, the toys don’t belong in the toy box in your version of a perfect world.

This month you and I got to spend a week with Grandma & Grandpa (Mama’s parents) to celebrate Grandma’s 50th birthday. You crawled up a step. A huge milestone and Grandma & Grandpa were so happy to be there for it. You love those grandparents of yours. You love both sets equally and boy do they love you. Your Great-Aunt Shel also loves you. She came home from work one day that week (we were staying at her house) and unloaded a bunch of toys and clothes that had “jumped” into her cart.

You’re such a well-behaved baby. I’m truly blessed to have such a dream for a kid. You can sit in restaurants for HOURS and you just hang out. Sometimes you nap. You don’t ever – or at least haven’t yet – started howling in a restaurant and you really make my life easy. I can only imagine how hard it would be to have a normal baby who can only handle short stints outside of the home.

One of my favorite things to do with you is dance. We turn up our music during the day and I set you on my lap and bounce you around and chant, “Boogie boogie baby. Boogie boogie baby.” Now you bop all on your own and I love to watch it. You make me smile. Always, you make me smile. Even as you’re learning to say no by shaking your head. You don’t always do it when it makes sense, but you have definitely learned the motion and you enjoy doing it. Now if only I could get you to nod your head yes!

I so love watching you grow and I can’t believe you’ve been here for eight months already. Eight! Insane! It’s just flying by. Before I know it you’ll be walking and then you’ll be a year old and a toddler and oh my… I plan to cherish every moment of your baby-ness because you are just a fantastic baby. I know that you’ll be an even more amazing kid and let’s just hope for some decent teenage years. I jest, I jest. I know that you’ll be brilliant throughout all of your years. Just, ya know, take your time getting there.

I love you with all my heart,
Mama

Month Seven

Dear baby,

Once again, I’m late. Once again, get used to it. I love you and I hope you still love your mama in all her lateness when you read these letters.

This last month has been chock full of milestones. Insane. So just a few days before you turned six months old you started crawling. You weren’t, however, content to just stay at that level for awhile. Oh, no. Not you. You started standing up against furniture just a matter of days after turning six months old and now that’s your favorite thing to do. Crawl up to the coffee table, pull yourself up to a stand and stare at us with happy eyes over the lip of the table. You bang your hands and toys against the table and you blow raspberries.

Another new habit of yours is taking a toy, your arm, my arm (anything really) and rub your mouth against while humming to make fascinating blubbering noises. It is one of the funniest things that I’ve ever seen and it has me laughing every time that you do it.

This last month has also seen you starting on baby food. You hated sweet potatoes at first, but loved your green beans. You also showed an extreme hatred for carrots and for peas, but even those two are now okay, I guess. You don’t make awful faces and spit it out anymore, anyway. You’ve loved all fruits so far, especially bananas and applesauce.

You are such a delight to spend time with. Everybody who spends any length of time with you remarks on your good behavior. You cry, but primarily when you’re mad. You take falls from a standing position very well and rarely get upset about it. You tolerate long visits in restaurants and are even mastering sitting in a highchair while in a restaurant and even being happy about it for a good amount of time. You are such a good girl, you have me scared to try to have another baby because I don’t see any possible way that I could be so damn lucky a second time around.

Our only downer right now is this constant teething thing. You’ve been showing signs of teething since you were three months old and you have yet to bust a tooth through. Your nights are getting rougher and you wake up in hysterics. I can only imagine the pain of teething and I’d do anything to make it go away if I could. So please, please get that tooth to cut through soon! For your sake and for our sanity.

I love you with every fiber of my being. You’re my sweet girl and I can’t imagine life without you.

All my love,
Mama

xoxoxo

Month Six

My lovely lovely daughter,

Yes, I know. I’m late. Again. I think that you will be learning at a very early age that your mom pretty much always runs late. I surprise people occasionally with being punctual, but for the most part, I’m tardy. It just is. But enough about your mother’s flaws. That’s not what this letter is about. It’s about YOU and just how remarkable you are.

So a few days before you turned five months old, I forgot to mention in your last letter that you learned how to splash. You wave your chubby little right arm up and down and splash and then you grin the hugest grin ever. It thrills you. Since then, you’ve mastered the art of banging any and everything that you can get into that hand against anything else that’s near. Your favorite? Your plastic keys against the plastic of your keysuit. Optimal noise. You love it.

The major news of the month was that just a few days before you turned six months old you started crawling. That’s right. Full on, hands and knees, moving forward crawling. You could not be more excited about how much more world is open to you now. You are so smart, kiddo. It’s pretty awesome watching you pick up these new moves. You pretty much sit up on your own. You just can’t quite manage to get that second bum cheek all the way on the ground so I’m not sure if it counts, but, well, as far as I’m concerned you’re sitting.

We also finally caved and snipped your hair a bit this past month. That one long bit in the front was getting a bit ridiculous, reaching all the way to your nose. The hair on the rest of your head is filling in nicely and while you still have your mohawk, it isn’t quite as prominent as it used to be. We love playing with your hair – especially in the tub when we can lather it all up with shampoo and make it stand straight up. Great fun for us as your parents. You’ll hate us for the pictures later, but it’s alright. You’ll forgive us eventually.

On top of the many great things that happened, you also got sick this time around. It was a nasty one, too. Nope, our little Anastasia couldn’t come down with a mere cold for her first illness. No, no. It had to be a nasty little virus that had you vomiting and spewing rancid poo. Oh yeah. That’s right. It was lovely. Thank goddess that’s over. By day seven or eight of that your mom had had just about enough of that, thankyouverymuch.

I love taking you out places. Everybody is so amazed at how alert you are. How well behaved you are. You truly are a remarkably good baby. You have never made a big scene in a restaurant, you don’t shy away from strangers (which maybe later might not be such a good thing, but for now it’s great), you smile at everybody. You’re just stunning. On top of all of that, you’re also the cutest darn baby that I’ve ever seen. Your expressions and sounds are so adult sometimes that I forget that you’re a mere infant. Then you fall asleep on me and I remember.

I love to hold you when you sleep. I love stroking your back and smoothing your hair. I love to kiss your forehead and cup your bare baby feet. I can’t even believe that you’re mine. I can’t fathom that I could be so lucky as to have been given you for my child. Don’t you ever forget how much I love you. I love you so much more than even life. You are my everything, baby girl.

Kissing you softly again tonight,
Mama

Month Five

Baby Girl,

I just keep writing these later and later, don’t I? Maybe for six months I’ll actually write your letter on time.

As with every month, you amaze me. The new things that come up every single month are incredible. You are constantly learning and soaking in information. You love to sit on my lap in a public place and check out everything going on around you. Your tendency is to fight sleep in those situations because you don’t want to miss a thing. You will be rubbing your eyes and upset and tired, but goshdarnit, you’re not going to sleep.

Your first Christmas was this past month as was your first car accident. Fortunately, the accident was minor, just a little rear-ending and you were fine. The impact scared the bejeesus out of you and it had me nervous, but we were all okay.

Your first Christmas was awesome. You helped your daddy pull items out of your very first stocking and you even ripped off some paper off of one of your gifts. You received more toys and clothes and books than any other kid I’ve ever seen. Spoiled, kidlet, you are truly spoiled. I’m keeping the picture of you surrounded by all of your loot so that when you turn sixteen and are hollering at me that you never get anything, I can just whip out that shot and prove you wrong.

One of your favorite new discoveries this month was your hands. You’ve seen them before and paid attention, but now you like to lay on your back and twirl your hands right in front of your eyes – studying them intently to see how they move and wiggle.

You’re also scooting along pretty quickly. You no longer stay quite where I put you which is starting to liven up the joint a bit. We have a huge comforter on the floor for you to play on, but usually you prefer the hardwood floors and roll off the comforter within a matter of minutes.

You haven’t broken any teeth through yet and the teething pain seems to not bother you anymore. It looks as though that pain is on hold, at least for a bit.

This month we’re working on instituting a bedtime routine. I’d love to get you sleeping in your crib. Well, sort of. I really do like having you beside me in bed. You comfort me.

The most amazing thing happened on the day that you turned five months old. America swore an amazing man into the US Presidency. The first black man to hold the office, President Barack Obama. The entire country, and even Canada where we live now, has felt completely reviatalized and awash in hope and excitement. I’ve never seen this kind of excitement over politics and it’s incredible. I want this feeling to last for all of your life.

I always want the very very best for you.

I love you, my girl.

Love,
Mama

Month Four

Dearest daughter,

I can hardly believe that you’re four months old. Seriously? It feels like you’ve been a part of my life forever, but at the same time, four months? Already? It really does fly by. Your last doctor appointment was yesterday and you weighed in at 14.5 pounds. Amazing. You’ve more than doubled your size at birth. That’s some awesome growth, baby. 

You are such a joy to watch. This month you went on your first plane ride and I was SO nervous. I had no idea how you’d behave. You were an angel. The first flight was a nightmare for me, I was so anxious and I kept dropping things, but you you you, you slept through it all. Every bit of it. From boarding, to takeoff, to landing. It was impressive. The second flight you stayed up for and you cried for a few minutes as we were taxiing which made everyone on the plane turn and stare like, “Oh, great, baby is crying and we haven’t even lifted off the ground yet!” But you calmed down not even five minutes in and were a dream through the rest of it. 

Your Papa and Nana were SO happy to see you. They hadn’t seen you since you were two weeks old. They didn’t want to let you go and fought over who got to hold you. We dragged you all over Boise and you were such a trooper. We even had you in your carseat for 22 hours in 2 days to go visit my grandparents- your great-grandparents in Eugene. It was a bit of a rough drive, but you took it all in stride and you put smiles on the faces of everyone who saw you. Of course, ever since that drive you protest quite loudly anytime we bring you near your carseat, but I have high hopes that you’ll eventually grow out of that . Please. 

We think that you little teeth are starting to come in this month. It doesn’t seem to bother you too much, but lord do you ever have a bite. Your favorite thing to do is to gum my hand to death. You just gnaw down and you even growl. It’s hilarious. 

Speaking of growling, you’re so vocal now! You chatter at everything and you coo and you yell. When you’re hungry, you cry, otherwise it’s just shouting to let everybody know that you’re annoyed. We get it, princess. We get it. 

Auntie Jacquee found out this month that she’s expecting again, so yay, another pseduo-cousin for you! We’re hoping for a girl this time around so you have some female company to play with. 

So much is going on right now – it’s crazy. Your first Hanukkah was on this past Sunday and you were spoiled filthy rotten, my girl. You came away with a garbage bag full of loot. Your favorite is this crazy little ball that rolls around on the floor all on its own and it sings and talks at you. You mash your face into it and try to eat it and if it rolls out of reach, you’re stretching out your little arms to try to grab on to it. It’s an awesome toy. 

You’re so close to crawling, I’m a little surprised you haven’t started yet. You’re so cute – you stick your little bum in the air and then you mash your face into the ground, bicycling your legs the whole time. You’re closer than I think you realize. I have to baby proof now! You don’t stay where I put you. You may not be crawling, but you roll like a champ and you maneuver yourself in circles pretty well. You’re getting mobile, baby. 

Your first winter is proving to be a gnarly one. There is over a foot of snow on the ground. It’s absolutely gorgeous, if slightly annoying in trying to manage Christmas plans around the weather.

You’ve started reaching out for me and for your daddy and you don’t even know how much it makes our hearts melt. It is the best feeling in the world when you reach for us, we grab you, and you’re calm again. You just needed us and that makes us feel amazingly special. 

You’re incredible. I love you with all my heart. 

-Mama

Month Three

Dearest Ana, 

It is so amazing the changes that happen in you in such a short period of time. You’ve gone from being this sweet little baby to this sweet little, well, baby, but bigger! 

I feel like sometimes I complain a lot about general motherhood things, but the truth is that I love being your mama. I get a giddy pleasure out of the fact that you save your biggest smiles for me. That you are calmed when I hold you. That you kick in happiness when you see me approach you. You, my daughter, you light up my life. 

This month has been a little bit crazy. You gave your mama my biggest scare when you decided to cry so hard that you were choking in a short border lineup. I was in tears, you were howling, the border guards thought I was insane. But it’s okay. You were just upset and as soon as I had you in my arms, the crying lessened and then gradually stopped completely. 

You rolled over for the first time just three days ago on November 17th. You’re such an independent girl. Your teenage years are going to be brutal, let me tell you. I knew that you were close to rolling over and I was watching you diligently. You were demanding a bottle and I had one warming for you. I walked into the kitchen to grab it, leaving you lying on your back on the floor. Not even a full minute later I was back and guess what? You were on your stomach. You rolled over for the first time when nobody was watching! You’re such a turkey! (By the way, I got the nickname turkey from your Auntie Jacquee. She called Sawyer that when he was your age and I’ve picked up on it. Blame her.)

It’s been really incredible watching you start to pick up on your surroundings. Your little head just bobbles all over the place as you try to soak in all the colors and shapes and sounds that are all around. Your current favorite is watching hockey on the television. This makes your daddy VERY happy. He’s hoping that the love for hockey continues as you grow older. 

The same day that you rolled over for the first time, you also laughed. It was such a beautiful sound and your father and I both looked at each other, eyes wide, and then burst into laughter ourselves. It was infectious. You haven’t repeated it since, but I’m hopeful and waiting for it. 

Today at your doctor appointment you weighed in at 13 pounds. Wow, baby. You’re growing marvelously.

You are so amazing. I am so blessed to have you. Right this moment you are snoozing in bed, tucked onto your side with your little arm thrown across your face. You are precious. You are mine and I can hardly believe it. 

I love you so much. 

Love,

Your mama